The Vision Killing Quick Order Menu

Introduction

I actually wrote this list a few years ago, when a friend of mine was struggling with some issues in his congregation. It is meant as a satire, but it is poignant nonetheless. Too often, these kinds of human objections limit the power of the Holy Spirit to direct a congregation.

The Vision Killing Quick Order Menu

In order to avoid the long process of pursuing God’s vision and heart, the following list is provided to assist people in stalling his work in a more orderly and organized manner.

If you’ve eaten at a Chinese restaurant, you know that the waiters often do not speak English. Therefore, you simply order using the numbers – NO SUBSTITUTIONS. You can do the same thing in protesting a move in a church.

During a vision meeting, simply cite the objections by number, like ordering Chinese food.

1.We’ve never tried it before.
2.We tried it before and it didn’t work.
3.Trying it would be too much work.

4.It won’t bring in any tithing members, you know.
5.There are people who will stop tithing if we do it.

6.The older people would never accept it.
7.The newer people would never accept it.
8.‘They’ won’t like it; although they’ll never tell you to your face.

9.Our former pastor would never have done something like this.
10.Our former pastor did something like this, hence the ‘former’.

11.We couldn’t do it until we have a new building.
12.Our church is too small to try that.
13.Our church is too big to try that now.

14.I need more time to think and pray about how to get people to oppose it.
15.Let’s assign it to a committee so they can discuss it forever.

16.It is not in the budget so it must wait until it is.
17.We don’t have the money for it and would have to give more.
18.We have the money but want to use the money for our own agendas.

19.It’s too ______ (insert name of controversial group) for us.
20._____ (insert name of big time preacher) teaches against it.

21.People won’t commit to it because their doing other stuff.
22.People will commit to it and not to the other stuff we do.
23.Ok, but what do we do when it doesn’t work?

24.Jesus didn’t have to do that to minister.
25.It could ruin our carpet.
26.We could get sued.

27.That’s what we hire the pastor for.